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brokenheartsandbrokenminds
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Name: Scott
Country: United States
State: Georgia
Metro: Atlanta
Birthday: 10/31/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: food, music, movies, latinos, politics, alternative stuff...
Expertise: i have no expertise
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  SCOTTGALE
Member Since:
2/24/2006
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| drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama drama
i hate drama so god damn much! why do people have to make everything so complicated? but i guess it's the kind of stuff that actually keeps life interesting. if everyone agreed and was nice to eachother than that would be no fun.
today was okay, i had a swim meet which i loath with unparalleled intensity. they are so boring and pointless. who cares who wins or loses? in the end it's still stupid and boring. afterwards i went over to teh sarah's and watched mtv movie awards. they are okay. mtv has gone so downhill these past few years. i remember the good old days with daria, beavis and butthead, celebrity death match and clone high. now it's just a myriad of rap videos and mindless reality shows. damn pop culture and it's fleeting attention span.
my grandfather went to florida yesterday. since he has been living with us for the past few months, the house feels really empty without him. especially for me. i'm the one that made his meals and took care of his insulin and medicine. so i am really starting to miss him. he's coming back in the begining of july, but still. i also am not to happy about him being in an assisted living facility. in ethnic cultures, thats almost a slap in the face. it's pretty much the kids duty to take care of their parents. he doesn't really like it there, but maybe now that he has regained some of his sight he may like it a little better.
i am coming to a cross roads in my life. i have two dreams that directly contradict eachother, and i don't really know what to do. my first is to move the hell out of georgia. i want to go to columbia university, get an ivy league education, be succesful ,live in new york and all that kind of stuff. the other is making it totally on my own. if i went to columbia, i would still be depending on my parents for cash, which i really don't want to do. once i'm out of the house, i want to be independent. but to reasonably do this i would have to go to georgia tech and still get extra scholorships to pay fpr room and board and get a job for spending money. i really don't want to stay instate. i want to explore this country and this world. there is so much out there and i want to see it all. what do you do when two dreams cannot be simultaniously achieved? which do you pick? i really don't know what to do. oh well, i guess i'll put it aside and figure it out when the time comes. | | |
| today was a very good day.
i went to visit my good friend kaela up in cumming, who i had not seen in close to three years! it always very fun to revisit with old friends. we ate at this really good pizzaria with superb rolls and pizza. the wating staff was good too (except not really. that bitch got no tip). we talked about the past, what was new in our lives. and i realized how much everyone has changed. we are all constantly changing throughout our lives and i don't think it is possible to remain the same person forever.
afterwards we went to see the da vinci code. it was ok. to read my full review go to my rotton tomatoes blog.
my rotton tomatoes blog:Rotten Tomatoes: The Vine: The Cinematic Pensieve of an Existentialist Genius | | |
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Well, I'd better show you where our school lies. It is not very different from other schools. In fact, all the schools in our area look alike. Typical suburbia. Everything is normal and non-threatening. The teachers aren't burnt-out, the students appear happy. All seems well, on the surface at least. But if you look a little deeper into our school, you might see something more. Something unique, something different. The typical stereotypes usually define themselves. The cliques that have existed since grade school remain intact, and everyone tries to conform to his role, his place in our society. Then there are those in the group that don't fit in. They don't meet expectations. They don't fulfill their role. Everyday they live in a constant fear of being discovered, being found out, being exposed. They try to hide their true identities by conforming. They throw away their own beliefs and interests to remain accepted. Because they, along with everyone else, know that if one cannot conform high school will be a living hell. Everyday filled with scorn and humiliation. But what these awkward, outsider teenagers soon learn is that by conforming to stereotypes, they soon alienate themselves. They lose a part of themselves. Soon the become bitter and angry at the world. They hate their family, they hate their friends, and most of all they hate themselves. That is why so many kids at our school are dead. They may be alive, but inside they are dead. They lost their soul to fit in. They sold themselves into mental slavery. They fell victim to society. They lost the epic battle with our school.
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| im so glad ap exams are over!!!
i feel as if this enourmous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. im basically done with all the classes that were giving me problems, so the rest of the year should be smooth sailing. oh im soooooo happy!
i cant wait till prom, its going to be so much fun, although sat's will be less than fun. but i wont let that ruin my day.
well i guess thats all i really had to say. actually this was a pretty pointless blog. quick, scroll up and pretend you didnt read it. | | |
| why cant i ever get anything right? i try and try and try, but i never succeed. and it is always my fault. school is going pretty badly. i cant seem to find the motivation to do anything. i bitch and complain and moan moan moan about how my grades suffer, but do i fucking do anything about it? no. i just complain more. i cant find the motivation to do it, to read my enduring vision, to study for calc, to read el principito, to do anything worth doing.
whenever im invited places i always hesitate to say yes. i actually contemplate hanging out with friends because it would require to much of an effort! how sad is that! but i always say yes because im afraid that people wont like me any more if i say no. im always afraid people wont like me anymore. its my phobia. everyday i always think that people fake liking me, even though they tell me they do.
im just so scared. scared of life, scared of death, scared of scchool, scared of leaving school, scared of people, scared of being alone. no matter what im in fear. i want to take away the fear, pain, anxiety of life. i want to make it all go away! why wont it leave me be? why do i have to be afraid of everything? why do i have to lay awake at night wondering what will happen when i die? why cant i have the blind hope and faith everyone else seems to have?
my family life is going to shit as well. i cant seem to get along with my parents. everything they do annoys me and everything i d annoys them. i want to be free, emancipated, but im afraid of what will happen. im afraid to go out into the real world because i dont really think that i can make it out there. im so afraid that i wont succeed in life. that one little mess up will ruin everything for me, making my existance a complete and utter failure. why doesnt life have guerantees? why are we left guessing? why were we made smart enough to ask why are we here, but not smart enough to answer the damn question?!?!
i want peace. i want solice. i want security. i want it all, and i wont be satisfied until then. its sad but its the truth. i want it all. but will i achieve it? i dont know? do i have the motivation to achieve my goals? i dont know. i dont know anything. | | |
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